Derka Derkastan

A country long shrouded in mystery, Derka Derkastan is a true untouched gem in the travel world.

After years of trying, I finally managed to visit this beautiful, but often misunderstood country.

Probably one of my most dangerous adventures, my recent travel to the hermit kingdom was one of the most exciting yet.

Sometimes referred to as Durkadurkastan, it is nestled secretly between China and Mongolia. The Derkastanis have historically cut themselves off from the rest of the planet in their attempt at world domination.

However, after their long civil war, Derka Derkastan is once again a happy place.

They have flowery meadows and rainbow skies.

The rivers are made of chocolate, where the children dance, laugh and play with gumdrop smiles.

From magical nights seeing the full moon on the cornfields, to the bustling markets of Bakalakadaka Street, it is the little things that drew me in.

Markets of Bakalakadaka Street, Derka Derkastan.

I managed to get my visa in Cairo… that’s in Egypt.

Tourists visa are impossible to get, so we had to pose as actors in order to get the temporary work visas required to enter the country. Apparently, this is what F.A.G. members Matt Damon and Alec Baldwin did in 2004 when working on their documentary “The goat-herders of Derka.”

My journey started in the country of Angria along the Brontë River.

Sailing in the boat Sealandia owned by the legendary Captain Henry Hastings, it was a peaceful and relaxing way to start my adventure.

Sailing from Angria along the  Brontë River.

Sailing along for days, we eventually arrived at the legendary Chiodo Crossing.

A desolate wasteland inhabited by the three warring tribes, The People’s Front of Judea, The Judean Popular People’s Front and of course, The People’s Front of Judea – I was glad to make it through without incident.

The legendary Chiodo Crossing., Derka Derkastan.

Freedonia – Freedom Isn’t Free

Traditionally a country of nomadic sherpas, the people were warm and welcoming – which was a surprise considering their troublesome history.

Their dusty capital Freedonia is still developing and does not have a lot of tourist sights.

The final highlight was visiting Princess Tarji in the Bukistan Palace. Known for it’s stunning beauty and playful puppet shows, it was the perfect way to end the trip.

Bukistan Palace in Freedonia, Derka Derkastan.

As a reward for a hard earned trip I headed back to base for debriefing and cocktails.

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